A MAGA Checklist

I recognize that there are some real opportunities for people in the Trump era to contribute to his success in transforming our country—remember, ask not what your country can do for you, yadda yadda…

1. Withdraw your money from your savings/retirement accounts and invest it in a Trump Meme coin. What the heck is that? Most people don’t have a clue because you can’t hold it and you certainly can’t eat it, wear it or sleep under it. However, you will probably lose the bulk of your investment. How does that make America great? You don’t think that was ever the point, do you? Making DJT richer was the point, so yay!
2. Now that you are poor, you can take one of those jobs that immigrants use to do before they were all deported. I’d stay away from the meat packing plants…those places stink, maybe maid service, if you don’t have a bad back; making beds can be a real strain.
3. This next task may make some time, but get out your sharpie and your Bible and start crossing out those annoying passages that talk about love and concern for the least of us. Anything about humility or compassion has got to go. You can probably just rip out whole sections to save time…most of it is pretty boring, like that renegade female bishop, Right Rev. Mariann Edgar Buddy preached at the National Prayer Service on Inauguration Day. Boring is out…retribution is in!
4. Women, do something about your hair! Is it long and wavy and alluring? Does it accentuate your full lips and ample bosom? Hair extensions and plastic surgery…get going, ladies! There is a look. You can’t be the head of Homeland Security without it. That and a real nasty puppy-killing streak!
5. Forget about the niceties of etiquette and manners. You do not have to hide your disdain for your liberal neighbors and coworkers. Tell them they are boring and stupid. Remind them that you have guns, and the police are probably on their side or they can get a pardon. Make sure their kids can hear; their teenagers already think they are dweebs, so you have nothing on your conscience.
6. There is so much more to do, I can’t list it all! Trump is doing his best, but he can’t do it all on his own! Bring out your inner nastiness and hate and get going. Together you can be the ones that destroy democracy and the environment in one fell swoop!