Someone mentioned Thin Mints the other day, and I regretted that we hadn't stocked up on those tasty chocolate wafers when we had had a chance from the girls in green. I also never had a chance to be a Girl Scout myself, growing up in the country instead in town.
I did, however, belong to 4-H, and when I was 16, I was elected president of the "Busy Beavers 4-H Club" and got to sit in the middle of the officers at the table in the front of the gym at my old elementary school. I don't think my duties extended much beyond presiding over these bi-weekly meetings and I expect I had a lot of help from the adult leaders (my mom being one of them). I don't remember agonizing over agendas or responsibilities or basking in triumphs of inspirational leadership.
The power of the office was minor and I wore it lightly. I never took time off to go golfing, used my office for monetary gain or incited insurrections. Leveraging power to deviate from the norms never crossed my adolescent brain.
Just think how comfortable we've been most of our lives adhering to the social constructs, taboos and behavior norms that formed the sea we swam in and the air we breathed. Even in my rebellious moments when I rolled my skirt up over my knees in response to dress codes, all my friends did it too. We may have pushed the limits, but we understood what the limits were and knew we might face consequences for our actions. Guilt and shame were part of our vocabulary and our experience. We made mistakes and were set straight by parents and teachers and maybe even by Mrs. Anderson from across the street.
Life had predictability and boundaries. We might not have liked the rules and the expectations, but in a way they gave us a sense of safety and security. If I was feeling uncomfortable somewhere and wanted to leave, saying my parents expected me home at 10 would be believed. Parents were like that. Rules were like that.
But now, many of us are feeling rudderless and adrift in a tempestuous sea. There may be rules, but we don't understand them and they don't seem to be applied fairly. Unfair rules have long been part of life for many segments of our society, but as a nation we still honored the idea of rules and norms, goals and aspirations, if not always the practice. We called it Democracy. We called it the American Dream. We called in our Beacon to the World.
Trump has shattered norms, broken rules and laws, committed serious breaches of decency, honor and tradition and time and again, he has avoided consequences and now has been rewarded with the highest seat of power. This is seriously out of whack. Somehow, the American conscience has become uprooted from reality and from the principles that have been a consistent thread throughout our history.
This uprooting means that a ne'er-do-well sexual offender like Matt Gaetz (a Butthead look-alike) can be considered a viable candidate for Attorney General and a Fox News bloviator, Pete Hegseth (multiple adulterer) would be the perfect Secretary of Defense and rid our military of the scourge of "wokeness." The circus is in town.
When people are able to accept "Up" as "Down" and "In" as "Out" something has to give in their psyche. We see that there is mental gymnastics going on at a nationwide level. Many people have to be feeling cognitive dissonance and need to practice a lot of self-justification to hold on to their beliefs. If we point out flaws in their thinking or judgment, they can't safely acknowledge that truth. We become the target--we are the ones that are wrong. Responses can be ostracism (exclusion from the group, family, etc.) anger and rebukes or differing levels of threat.
STEP 7: Seek to Understand The New Mindset of America
- Learn about logical fallacies...right wing rhetoric provides a smorgasbord of these. My source for great critical thinking materials is The School of Thought https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com
- Detect the "tells" in conservative arguments--what strategies do you hear? Blame? False Equivalencies? This is advice I found on the Rational Voices Facebook Page.
- Avoid arguments that can put you at risk without reward. Figure out when engagement is useful and potentially effective; don't make yourself a target unnecessarily.
- Recommended reading: Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. This updated edition concludes with an extended discussion of how we can live with dissonance, learn from it, and perhaps, eventually, forgive ourselves.
Why is it so hard to say “I made a mistake”—and really believe it?
When we make mistakes, cling to outdated attitudes, or mistreat other people, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so, unconsciously, we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right—a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-justification—how it works, the damage it can cause, and how we can overcome it.
“Entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying.”—Wall Street Journal
“Every page sparkles with sharp insight and keen observation. Mistakes were made—but not in this book!”—Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness
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