Reckoning...so much reckoning going on.
On Wednesday I went to my church because they had opened their doors for people struggling with the shock of the election results. There were both doughnuts and tissue boxes on the table and candles to light in the sanctuary. I partook of all of it, including the listening ears of the pastors and their wise counsel.
Everyone around the table talked about the new reality of dealing with the triumphant Trump voters in our lives; family members, neighbors, lifelong friends. Pastor Jack said something that resonated with me.
"The reasons, the very good reasons that I rejected Trump, are not necessarily the reasons that the people I know voted for him. While I don't agree, I can't assume that we looked at him the same way."
They voted for a man that will bring pain, destruction and chaos, but not necessarily for those reasons. Yes, I think, yes, the good people I know wouldn't cause that kind of harm to others in their lives; but they had to know, at some level, that harm will happen to migrants, to political opponents, to journalists, to people in marginalized communities and at some level they have to think that is justifiable and good.
So here is a reckoning moment. I grew up in a small farming community, a farmer's daughter myself. In high school I had a large circle of trusted friends and our friendships have survived the many years hence. We try to get together at least once a year and sometimes more. These women are all bright, capable and solid wives, mothers and grandmothers. They are good people that I love. But I know that our paths diverged politically. Most stayed as conservatively Christian as they were raised, I did not. My life experiences took me far from that farm, yet that rural ethos of caring for neighbors and the land, of working hard and being decent and honest has never left me.
I have not held back my political views on public forums, such as Facebook or X. I have written letters to the editor and was interviewed for a Democratic voter opinion article in the Minnesota Star Tribune that was published just before the National Convention in August. Where I stand is clear.
For the most part, these friends have not engaged with me politically, until yesterday. Then two of them made comments about the same post: one about the messages that parents are sending their children by voting for Trump--it's okay to mock the disabled, cheating is acceptable, always blame others, etc. It struck a discordant note with them and they pushed back.
I do not want to lose my friends. I do not want to give up my values. Many of you will find yourself in a similar place, faced with the potential of a tradeoff you don't want to make. At this moment I will do all I can to keep my treasured friendships. I will acknowledge and consider their points-of-view, I will remind them of my love and respect for them, but I will stay true to my own truth.
In order to do that I have to be clear about what my values and my truths are, I have to make a deep and honest dive into what I believe and why I believe it. It should not be superficial or flippant. It should not be a rehashing of what I was taught but a look at my lived truth and my highest aspirations. I should be prepared to change and revise it if necessary. That's not an easy assignment.
Step Two (Day 73 BTA) Before the Apocalypse
Write down the values I hold and why they are important to me. Add stories. Put this in a place where I can revisit it often to refine and reflect. Look for sources of inspiration. Here is one.
Sources to help you in this process:
https://www.clearerthinking.org/post/your-intrinsic-values-why-they-matter-and-how-to-find-them
Clearer Thinking is a marvelous resource to help us become better, wiser, and more effective human beings. This link takes you to an article that helps you understand what intrinsic values are and includes an interesting quiz to help you identify your own most important values.
Hammarskjold, Dag. Markings, 1964
A powerful journal of poems and spiritual meditations recorded over several decades by a universally known and admired peacemaker. A dramatic account of spiritual struggle, Markings has inspired hundreds of thousands of readers since it was first published in 1964. Markings is distinctive, as W.H. Auden remarks in his foreword, as a record of "the attempt by a professional man of action to unite in one life the via activa and the via contemplativa ." It reflects its author's efforts to live his creed, his belief that all men are equally the children of God and that faith and love require of him a life of selfless service to others. For Hammarskjöld, "the road to holiness necessarily passes through the world of action." Markings is not only a fascinating glimpse of the mind of a great man, but also a moving spiritual classic that has left its mark on generations of readers.
Do you have sources to add? Please add them in the comments. I will continue to build a resource list on all topics I cover.
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